Monday Frutrations

Happy Monday!  I know that I jut blogged last night, but upon my arrival at work I found that my server is down and because my server is down, I cannot answer phones, do any work, and basically in limbo just waiting. Unfortunately this does not mean I can go home early since my office doubles as a showroom & customers can still come in.

This morning my mom woke me up at 6am because my car was in her way to leave for work. After I moved my car, I had an internal debate about what to do next: gym or more sleep. Let me tell you, I thought about it for 15 minutes and I am not proud to tell you that the gym did not win. :-(  My reasoning at the time? I would still be @ work 12 hours from that hour and it seemed like too long of a day. Seriously!?!? I am still kicking myself!

I kept telling myself how great workouts make me feel, but my mind just wouldn't listen. When wll the connection happen so I won't have the internal struggle anymore? When will I realize that spending an hour at the gym will add time to my life? My body and mind crave the gym, but when I have the opportunity, I am consistently talking myself out of it! How can I get this to change? Honestly, I think it will just take going against myself and going anyway. I know I can, I know I need it, I know I want it, now I just need to put my thoughts and desires to work FOR me and not against me!

So here I am at work, making my battle plan. If I am just roaming aimlessly, I will head right to my closet, get my workout clothes on and conquer my own deamons. I will overcome this internal battle because I hav to. No one else can do it for me!

As for my trainer, well I'm honestly not sure where I'm at with that. He has been really flaky lately and has cancelled on Nicole three times now. It's really discouraging because I want to work with him but he said he needed to meet with her before determining if we would be a good match for group training or not. If he can't keep 3/4 appointments we have made so far, how can we be sure he will show up when we ned him? Maybe the $$ will be a motivator for him, but I don't want that to be his reason to show up and beat me up, you know?

So there is a lot on my mind this Monday morning... all comments & feedback is strongly appreciated.

Holly

(Re)Sparking my Motivation

Yesterday was the first day that I can remember that I woke up craving the gym; craving my workout.

I woke up and got ready for the gym... and by the time I walked in -- I was happy to find it empty! An EMPTY gym?!?! In what parrallel universe does that exsist?!?!


So I was super pumped and felt completely comfortable. This was the first time that I experienced the new gym without my trainer, and it made me SUPER confident in myself and it made my motivation multiply incredibly.

Since then, I have CRAVED the gym. In fact, I tried to fall asleep on Friday night but couldn't. I had a horrible time falling asleep because I couldn't stop thinking about the gym. It is a completely new experience for me, but I have to tell you that I am enjoying that emotion.


I followed my trainer's advice about my workout and warmed up with some cardio, did a whole ton of free-form strength training circuits and then I finished up with some cardio.... then of course I did some cool down cardio to finish off my day.


Two full days later, I am still completely sparked and pumped up. I can definitely say now that my spark fizzled a while ago. I have been going through the paces, but really didn't have the motivation - the hunger for fitness and sweat.

I think that this happens to a lot of us in our journeys. One missed workout turns into two-- turns into making other excuses and then you forget how GOOD it really feels to work out!

So that's where I'm at right now. Short and sweet, right?  I will leave you with a few other thoughts:

Why blog here? The purpose of the Becoming Holly Blog

I'm Holly, and I am in the process of becoming the woman that I am meant to be. The purpose of this blog is for me to have a place to express myself; my struggles, my successes, and everything in between.

I started this blog on Spark People but have decided, for several reasons, to expand it into it's own entity. I want to include things (formatting too!) that are restricted on the website, and I want to be able to share this and allow comments from people who are not necesarily assocated with the site. I am concerned about losing some of my support system from that place, but I hope you all keep in touch and read this often. I plan to continue using the Spark People (SP) blog for more challenge-related or SP related needs, and this will be the place to find out about me and my story.

This is here for my own purposes, but will also be here for anyone and everyone to keep in touch with me and my progress. Feel free to subscribe and keep up to date in my progress.

Any and all comments will be welcome here; however will be monitored for some obvious reasons.

I will share things that will be personal, and for those reasons, I hope to have only the utmost respect and encourangement from my readers. Please let me know if you have a similar story to tell via blog: I would love to read it!

November 16, 2011
WI: 331.1